We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
