handjob tips. give me some.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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