Do you still have your period?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
