Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
