just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize