I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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