I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
