Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
