i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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