His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
