Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
