I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
