Yo dont text me then not text me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
