i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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