You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
