somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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