It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
