Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I know her cup size but not her name....
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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