I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
