You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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