i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize