Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
