please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
only if we run a train.
done.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
