I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize