matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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