Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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