All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
