he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
