The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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