Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
