we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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