windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
