just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You're earring is so big in my mouth
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
