would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize