the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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