i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
