yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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