So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
