Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
