we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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