She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize