there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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