I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
