i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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