It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
