True but thats because hes a fetus.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
