We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
