he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I stole a fireplace last night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
