i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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