My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
