you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
