North Korea, Best Korea!
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
