I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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