he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
