Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
