your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
As shirtless as possible
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
