check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
