u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
its not stalking. its research.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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