If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
