My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
