when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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