he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
be right there i have to get my cape
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
