somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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