Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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