Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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