Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
