Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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