You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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