Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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