guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize