dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
