do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
