I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
