Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
