is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Randomize
